Where to begin. Oh yes, at the beginning of course.
Here’s a bit of advice. When you get a ‘bad feeling’ about something or someone, listen to that feeling. I made a mistake and didn’t listen. I was young and naïve. I thought people who lived out in rural-land were friendly and helpful, gregarious and more like “The Beverly Hillbillies” or “Leave it to Beaver”, not “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Last House on the Left”. We soon found out our neighbors were anything but gregarious. They definitely couldn’t spell it. I had a sinking feeling about the whole place and I didn’t say anything. I sure did rue that day!
We bought some land with no house or any structure on it. We were due to be married soon and we wanted to flee the city screaming and live in the great outdoors and build our own home. Our neighbors in the city were terrible, but we just dealt with their idiosyncrasies (like shooting off fireworks at 2 AM, drunk people yelling for their dogs every night, people trying to run us over when we used the crosswalks) and criminal ways because we knew! that we’d be leaving! them! in the dust! soon! enough!
At first, our trailer trash seemed nice enough, sorta. At least the one called ‘P. wee’ sure seemed very friendly. He was obviously full of crap however, he once told me that he could ‘type 100 words a minute’, so I figured he was just one to exaggerate. His mother also seemed to be friendly, in a trailer trashy sort of way. I don’t look down on people who aren’t intelligent or live in poop-filled trailers, I go by what’s in their heart, even if they have a bug zapper in their living room.
Since we both worked full time in the city, we could only come down and work on the house over the weekends and holidays and any days off we had. We worked our butts off for three years, every single weekend. We had a road to our property that was right across the road from their house. We put a rope (which kept nobody out) across to keep people from coming onto our place. There was a trail that went from the road to the gas line that crossed the property. We were building a shed so we could sleep somewhere and not have to stay in the truck all night which was pretty uncomfortable. One morning when we arrived we saw that someone had cut the rope. Gee, now who could have done that?
We finally got the plywood and front door on the house of the first floor and were keeping the building materials tied up in the top of the framework so that people couldn’t steal them. We came back after being away to find that someone had kicked the front door in, I guess to ‘look around’. Gee, wonder who did that too. Can you guess yet?
Finally after three long hard years of slaving away, we were able to move in. After that, things went downhill from there.
We had another neighbor that had moved into a house down the road who worked for the state. He drove a huge box truck home every day and ran over our driveway so that there was a huge ditch from his dual-wheel state owned truck. Did I mention that his truck exceeded the weight capacity of the road? The car we had to drive would hit the ditch and it knocked the tailpipe loose.
So, we put some large rocks next to our driveway so he would stop cutting a ditch into it. The township supervisor happened to show up when we were building (trailer trash phoned them and ratted us out that we were there) and got pissed because we had put the rocks by the road. They even called the cops because of it. The cops came and wanted to talk with our other neighbor who was making the ditch. We didn’t call the cops at all. The little neighbor guy- who is the spitting image of Freddy Mercury- freaked because the cops were there, so now we’re his ‘enemy’, even though we didn’t call on him. Even the cop told the guy that we didn’t call, but no matter, he hates us now.
So, after all that fun, we find that Trailer Trash’s little rat children were over behind our shed melting plastic jugs behind it. Luckily they were too stupid and didn’t how to start a fire. Of course, the house across the road from them burned down around the same time. Wonder who did that one. Maybe Peewee?
After the Trailer Trash family started getting less ‘neighborly’, we put up a fence and a gate. When we were there, he made sure to climb over the gate, I guess to show us he could do whatever he wanted. One time we were there in the summer and smelled something dead. We looked around and saw severed cat heads that had been thrown over our gate. P. wee said that his cats had been getting too numerous and that he got rid of them. I guess he or his brother-son had thrown them over our gate because they thought we’d want the souvenirs. One time when we were there he climbed over the gate and had this poor little dog with him. The dog was double the size he should have been- the tumor the dog had was half his size-oh and he was covered with fleas….the dog, not P.wee.
Oh, yes. Then, we found out that they have a wonderfully delightful habit of burning garbage. Plastic, electrical wiring, dildos, tires and whatever they could get money for back when scrap prices were up. Problem was, the prevailing winds blew right past our house. Worst time was when he was burning tires for 3 days straight. By then we weren’t ‘friends’ with the Podunks anymore. He ended up setting one of his trailers on fire (and a bunch of poor little dogs got incinerated in the blaze too, they’re dog hoarders). I think they actually fined him for that one because the fire marshal was forced to actually come down and do his job. That was just one of the things he burned down. More on that later.
The mother had a mouth that ran like a bad case of diarrhea. She talked about us to whoever and whatever would listen. If she didn’t know something, she’d just make it up- and she barely knew anything. They were apparently friends with the township supervisor, whom most people hated.
We also found out that Trailer trash ma and her son P.wee also had a torrid romance going. He had a son with her and was proud to point it out to anyone who would listen, at least back then. They were cautious enough to not list P. wee as the father on the birth certificate.
Over the torturous years living next to them, they’ve done almost everything they could think of to us.
What was our ‘sin’ that we committed against them? How did we err in their eyes? Our sin was that we moved next to them. But, it’s not personal, they would have done this to anyone that was crazy enough to move next door.
So trailer trash, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
They routinely throw out garbage along our road.
When they want to be really obnoxious, P.wee throws out dead animals in front of our driveway. One time he got really creative and threw out a bunch of small pieces of dead meat all along our road frontage. We have a lot of bushes and scrub there, so we couldn’t find them. He did that because he knew my husband had been working on a vehicle right there. Most of the time the scavengers get the bodies, but not that time. It stunk for about a week.
They also made sure to watch to see if we were home. They had nothing else to do with their time like jobs or having real lives, so they’d drive past, turn around and then keep driving reeeeeal slow to see down our driveway. We couldn’t put up a garage door because of the way the building and topography was. We still can’t go anywhere because if they knew we were gone they’d break in, steal everything and torch the place.
They stole motorcycle parts as well as some of our chickens, so we had to lock the gate. They also put sugar in the gas tank of a truck we had parked there, wasn’t that so sweet of them?
A few years ago, they had this jail bird/drug user/ rat (narc) living with them. He was the ‘smart one’ and thought of all sorts of neat ways to try and get the cops after us. After I caught them trying to steal our chickens, my husband followed them in the truck. They walked back to where they live and he followed them the whole way. The next day, he drove there and (not getting of the truck) asked the skank what his name was. He didn’t tell him of course, did some lewd behavior and screamed he’d call the police. So, they did. And, they lied and said that DH had tried to run them over the previous night and threatened them and all this crap. The cop didn’t believe them of course.
The rat also told them to say we were ‘growing stuff’, and we had a helicopter go past our house with the side door open and a guy was taking video of our back porch. We also have a gasline behind our house, they tried to ‘hide’ the copter by having a gas company helicopter fly past first with the fuzz ‘copter right behind it. The cops seem to be motivated by the ‘property seizure laws’ in the state, since they have yet to shut down a drug house in town.
They also love to shoot guns off close to our house. P.wee does it usually around 2 am if he’s ‘mad’ about something, like his shipment of “Goat Woman” magazine didn’t come in. One time they were hunting on a property that abuts ours (it’s not theirs and they guy didn’t want them on it but he’s never there). They were shooting right near our house. Calling the cops about it is a waste of time, since the 911 operator was a complete moron. I’ll spare you the details.
They tried to turn everyone in the ‘hood against us. It worked for years until people started seeing what they are really like. Most people hate them around here, people even know about him in town, 30 miles away. They’ll try every scam in the book. They were sneaking around with flash lights stealing stuff out of peoples yards and vehicles in the middle of the night. They also destroyed some abandoned houses around here, they took whatever metal they could out of them and ruined the rest of them. They did this to two houses. One of them the guy came to see his place and just stood there, staring at it. They ruined his place!
A lot of times they’ve let their crazy/vicious dogs loose. Usually their animals get loose and come over here, because even the animals don’t want to be by them. Right now we have a fuzzy black bunny in our yard, an escapee from them.
We’ve been putting up with their crap for about 16 years now. It’s died down more or less, though they still burn and throw out garbage, with the occasional dead raccoon or woodchuck thrown in front of our place. Oh, they also have a relative that got out of prison a few years ago for sexually abusing a young relative. Keep it in the family is their motto. He lives with them now, right next door to us. The one positive thing is that he knows to stay out of trouble due to being in prison as a pedophile and doesn’t bother us. P.wee on the other hand is a special kind of stupid. He’ll probably be like this until the day he dies.
P. wee also had a daughter. Pity this poor girl! The mother abandoned her when P. wee said he was going to take her to court or something like that because ol’ mom was going to leave P. wee and take the daughter with her. Maybe she was stupid and tried to get alimony out of him. We usually find this stuff out because we hear them screaming about it during the day. They don’t care who hears! Nobody does anything anyway. The poor kid had cancer two times so far. I hear from someone who knows them what he does. It’s like he’s got Munchausen by proxy a little bit. The ‘source’ I talk to said that the second time she got cancer he SHAVED HER HEAD and gave this person the HAIR from his own daughter. He’s always trying to get money because of her illness. He set up fund-raisers on GoFundMe, never mind that she’s covered by Medicaid. People give him all sorts of things for her. It would be different if he used the money for her, but he doesn’t. The person said his own family told that he would get gifts of clothes and toys for her from other people and he would go back to the store and return them for the money! So the person took the tags off after that. It boggles my mind that none of these nurses or anything can see she’s living in filth! Or maybe they don’t care because she’s on welfare, she’s not a baby so no one would adopt her. She supposedly sees a psychiatrist (no wonder!), and how would they not see the abuse she’s been subjected to?
Forget calling the cops, they don’t even like to come out here, it’s common knowledge that you don’t call them, I guess since there are no doughnut shops on the way so they get mad. One of the times when the cops were called they threatened to arrest us! We called because as my husband was driving by their place on his motorcycle he looked over and P. wee’s “wife” pointed a shot gun at him. So, he called the fuzz, who said they usually arrest both parties when this happens (that means us too?). And, the kicker is, the “wife” of P. wee even admitted to them (she’s too dumb to know how to lie) that she did it unprovoked by him. Nothing ever happened of course, we think it was because of a bad coincidence. We had also got our car wrecked about the same time when it was parked by our dump in town (it was a shack in town but it had running water so we could take a shower, wash clothes while we set up the plumbing at our “chateau” in the woods. The drunk kid that wrecked it and almost wrecked me (because I was walking up to put the garbage out) was the darling stepson of the district attorney. When the ‘detective’ saw that the shot gun case had the same name as the wrecked car case, he conveniently said ‘not enough evidence’ to prosecute our neighbors. So they got off the hook, again!
You may still ask, why not call animal control about the dogs, or call the Humane society? Well someone else called animal control about the dogs, the mother (who owns the house that P. wee stinks in) moved out of state but kept the property in her name (smart since P. wee helped to destroy the store that her and her now dead husband bought them to run). She had came back after they were living in the house (they used to have a trailer but P. wee burned that one down too, the fire department told my husband that there was like 30 small dogs that died in that fire!), and saw what a total mess P. wee had made of it (dog crap everywhere, fleas, and imagine the smell), so she got a local woman who does house cleaning to come and clean it up. P. wee as you can see doesn’t “do” cleaning- or anything else. Once the woman saw the condition of the dogs that were in the house (and the many who were chained up outside the house), she immediately ran out and started calling everyone she could think of. They took the dogs and I’m hoping gave P. wee a fine (he always pleads “poor me” and “my daughter has cancer”, so not sure if he got a fine. About a week later he’s got more dogs again. He usually tied them up right by the road so as to discourage anyone from walking near the house. Recently something must have happened because now he keeps all his animals in the back where they can’t be seen on the road.
There have been other things as well that they have done, but I can’t remember them right now.
There have been some humorous events courtesy of P.wee though! Not enough for my taste. One night years and years ago, P. wee was trying to live on his own, away from Mommy. They were living behind the store that his inlaws had bought him. He still had a rat trap trailer on his mother’s property, apparently filled with valuables, like Duke’s of Hazzard coffee mugs, stolen guns, old lawnmowers (oh he steals and fences mowers), slim jims, etc. I was on the computer when suddenly I heard squealing tires and someone driving like he knew Daisy Duke was tied onto his grimy mattress. The tires screeched to a halt, and we heard yelling and screaming and then gun shots. After the smoke cleared, we found out that P. wee’s mommy had thought she’d seen someone with a flash light in his Trailer Taj Mahal, so she called him and he came roaring down the road like a bat out of hell and shot into his own trailer. At the time there was a neighbor across the street (who got their aluminum down spouts stolen by the younger trailer trash kids but they took them back) was there, and they called the cops because of the yelling and shooting. The cops showed up and took his gun and I guess gave him a fine. Another funny happening was when P. wee had wrecked his girlfriends car. Before this, my husband had heard trailer trash mom telling P. wee that if he saw my husband riding his motorcycle to run him off the road (remember I said they were dumb AND loud?). So, then we see an insurance car go by. They apparently had gotten a rental car due to the damage to the vehicle. My hubs waited and flagged down the adjuster and told him all about P. wee and how he’s always driving his girlfriend’s car. The guy turns around and goes back to talk to them. Soon after we see losers driving the car back to the rental place, and I’m guessing they didn’t pay for their wreck either.
Oh, this next one would have been so sweet except for…well anyway I’m getting ahead of myself. So, one of their hobbies for awhile was to drive by and honk and flip us off. P. wee also got his bearded wife and hollow-headed mother in law in on the act. So, one day hubs was out doing something and P. wee goes by, flipping the bird again. He’s so intent on making sure hubs sees him that he’s not paying attention to the car coming towards him- his own nasty sister! They both barely missed having a head on collision right in front of us! That would have been so funny, but sadly the devil protects his own…for awhile anyway.
I wouldn’t classify this next one as funny, more like tragic, but its just another example of how you should not breed with your immediate family. Before Peewee burned down his second trailer (not the first one as I already told you about), he was living on his mother in law’s property. She had a house, he got the trailer moved there up on a hill. One day we were outside when we saw a monstrous black cloud coming from their direction. They were burning, not regular garbage, but their garbage filled trailer this time. The fire department came and put out the land fill, I mean trailer fire. From what we heard (one from one of the fire fighters who was there), P.wee had a space heater that he left on full blast and drove away. The extension cord that the space heater was plugged into apparently caught some loads of dried dog poopie on fire and the trailer burned down to the ground. Luckily his daughter got out, but the fireman said there were about 30 little dead dog corpses in the ashes. After that he moved into his mother in laws house.
These are truly the worst people we’ve ever had to live next to!